did not believe in paying taxes and neither do i. [laughter] he got in trouble for not paying taxes. how did he get out of it? >> well, he died. [laughter] >> stephen: that's the ultimate escape. >> that's right. [ laughter ] yes, but -- his successor david miscavige by 1993 scientology owed $1 billion in back taxes and they didn't have it. they had to get a tax exemption. they launched a lawsuit against the irs. they put private investigators on agents to see who drank too much, who was foolg around on the road. whatever the merit of the case was, those lawsuits were dropped. >> stephen: they got be officially in a religion and they dropped 24 lawsuits. >> exactly and called off the private investigators. >> stephen: one of the other things that appeals to me about scientology is that they are into celebrities. >> yes. >> stephen: i'm a celebrity. they've done great things for them. tom cruise has not aged. [ laughter ] would it help me. if i went to hollywood and went to the celebrity center and became a scientologist would that be good for my career? can they deliver? >> it would

as calling the estate tax the death tax and making universal health care coverage sound like a (bleep) sandwich. [laughter] >> the language that you used before, you are calling it a public option which is what the white house calls it, are you sure it isn't a government option? if you call the the government option the public against it. >> great point i'll call it the government option. >> jon: thanks, frank. i'm going to call health care the government option because i don't want everyone to have it. i appreciate you telling me how to (bleep) everybody over. thank. while that's been performed,el good people at ferrell news believe in transparency. we'll start with rebranding the or we willan process itself. >> you know about words and messaging and how to do it, frank. let's talk about the the number one thing the language errors you have pointed out versus adjustment. >> jon: you see it's language errors. you need to adjust your language errors. i think the church of scientology called, they want their deliberately obfuscating words back. they are not (bleep) you. they are adjusti

. [ laughter ] now, barack obama's justice department decided not to defend doma, but don't worry, your tax dollars are still being spent on the case. house republicans hired super-straight, super-lawyer paul clement to defend marriage to the tune of $2 million dollars. [ laughter ] now, the case won't be heard until march, but that money is already buying brilliant legal arguments from clement like: "marriage should be limited to unions of a man and a woman because they alone can produce unplanned and unintended offspring." [ laughter ] damn straight. yes! yes, marriage is for straight people, who can go to a wedding, get tanked on chablis, and make a baby, barebacking it in a coat closet. [ laughter ] as -- [cheers and applause] fans of the coat closet. that's how god intended it. [ laughter ] planning to have kids just isn't right. [ laughter ] but perhaps the strongest argument clement yanked out of his law-hole is this one: "gays and lesbians have attained more legislative victories, political power, and popular favor in less time than virtually any other group in american history. giv

a carbon tax or cap and trade or both. even china now has a pilot. they are announcing the pilot for the national program in two years. >> jon: right. there's reasons for optimism but we have to get busy about solving them. >> jon: that's -- here is the confusion for me or the difficulty. we have to get busy solving it. there were things you could do, take a shorter shower, lick your children dry. [ laughter ] all those things you could do but the difficulty of doing it -- there room in -- can mobile al gore who has current tv and sells it to qatar which is an oil-based economy, can mogul al gore coexist with activist all gore and is that -- al gore and is that -- if you couldn't find for your business a more sustainable choice to sell to. >> i think it is sustainable. what is not sustainable about it? >> jon: a nonfossil fuel based buyer? >> look. they have the highest quality, most extensive best climate coverage of any network in the world. jeff godell tweeted today on what al jazeera is doing on climate coverage. they are very, very good. >> jon: the bar is not high. >> the b

not like you cutting tax. you could not stand when you we are your mommy's slacks. [ laughter ] you cannot reach across the aisle because everything you do is vile. they complained when you killed owe psalma so on a train or plane or lamba, rolling a 44 at bowl-a-rahma despite your nice white kansas mama, comma, they do not like you, barack obama. [cheers and applause] >> jon: welcome back. my guest tonight new film is called "identity thief". >> don't shut door, leave it. >> now, this is his favorite part. he likes to be humiliating verbally. >> no i don't. >> you sissy boy. >> that's enough of this. >> sissy boy. it's time to give him the big show. boom boom! >> no need for the show. put it back on. whoo! whoo! whoo! >> jon: please welcome back to the show, jason bateman. [cheers and applause] magic! magic. you are a magic man. you are a magic man! [cheers and applause] i mean there's nothing worse than a quarter standing ovation. good lord, thank you for leading that. [cheers and applause] >> jon: i'm working out how we're going to edit around that. how are you? the movie, melissa mccar

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